Thank you

I’ve been reading and keeping up with the Sandusky trial since it happened. As a parent, when I read what he was accused of I was sick. No parent wants to think of that happening to anyone, let alone their own. To imagine all these years, all that pain, constantly gnawing at these victims. It breaks my heart. The part that always worries me the most is the lack of empathy from these people. They have no problem jumping in, gaining the trust of a child then taking advantage of the very thing their suppose to shield kids from. To make matters worse, adults actually knew about it and did nothing. Making money & keeping quiet was more important than saving the life of a child? Needless to say I think they all deserve to be exactly where he’s going, both on earth and after.

 As for the victims I have two words for you; thank you. Thank you so much for being brave enough to shatter the silence after so long. Speaking from experience, I know it is not an easy thing to do. Because of you I now know to ask questions & to be more involved in who my children are around. I do hope and pray that this is the beginning of the end for all of you. I hope you can somehow pick up the pieces, let the shame fall away and be free. Now is your time to get your life back & I cannot commend your bravery enough. When I heard the verdict I cried for you. (It must be the motherly instinct) I cried because I know what your going thru. I myself have not been sexually abused but someone whom I love dearly has been. I’ve went thru the anger that makes me so mad I cant even think straight, the crying for hours on end, the extreme guilt and now I’m kind of at a standstill. Kinda where I just try to make it day to day. Please don’t think I’m suggesting I know how you feel, because I don’t. But I do know somewhat how you feel. When this person disclosed to me my world stopped. I felt sick, dizzy and wanted it to not be real. Unfortunately it is and were gonna get thru it. As will you. In writing this blog I wanted you to know how proud I am that you took a stand. God only knows how many other children you have spared. Your all heros in my book and I will continue to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. With all the motherly love I can pass to you, Melinda :)

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Calling all angels

Time to blog again… I have finally finalized the account for Crystals memorial fund! So exciting but it comes with worry. I am worried no one will help or care. Thats where you all come in. I know this girl did things that were morally wrong but she was a human being. She was a mother, daughter, sister and dear friend to many here in Bloomington. Whoever did this needs to see her face wherever they go, and that is my plan. I want her on billboards, posters and in stores everywhere. I want whoever did this to forever be haunted by what they did to a mother of 2 beautiful young girls. It must be hard going thru every day knowing you killed another human being. Trust me when I say I pray for you also. I wish I knew how to put it all into words just how much I want to help them but I can’t. It has become my personal mission to help them out & that’s exactly what I’m gonna do. You can now donate to the following bank;

Woodforrest Bank

3585 W State Road 45 Bloomington, IN 47403

If your writing checks, money orders or cashiers check, please make them out to The Crystal Grubb Memorial Fund.

Please call the Bloomington Police if you have any information whatsoever in the murder of Crystal.     It will be confidential!!       (812) 349-2534

You can also check us out on facebook for the latest news on donating or developments. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/pages/The-Crystal-Grubb-Memorial-Fund-page/168671076548572

With love; Melinda

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

The Crystal Grubb story

Crystal Grubb was a daughter, mother, sister & friend to many in the town of Bloomington IN. Sure she had hit a rough patch in her life but who doesn’t? The only thing that matters to me is that she was brutally murdered somewhere around September 19th 2010. She went out that night with 3 friends and was never seen again. Rumors have been running since it happened. Strangers approach Janice, Crystals mother all the time and tell her what they have heard. We have said it before and we will say it again, if you know something, even if you don’t think it’s not important speak up! Alot have asked why I became involved. I tell them often it is because it could happen to me. Or what if it happened to you? Would you be able to rest knowing that every night someone who killed your daughter was walking around assuming a normal life with kids and a family? I can’t fathom it & quite frankly it makes me sick. So that has become my mission. To find out who did this to Crystal, not only for her, but for her family and most importantly her daughters.Image

Like I said before, Crystal has become involved in something very dangerous, meth. It was perhaps too much for her to deal with & may have quite possibly had something to do with her murder. That’s the painful part of the whole situation, not knowing. In my many talks with Crystals mom that seems to be what is the hardest part for her. Crystal went out with 3 people who she thought cared about her. Details are sketchy but she was out near hwy 37, heading toward Indianapolis when her friends say an argument ensued & she walked away in anger. After that, no one ever saw her again. Her family went in and reported her missing on Sept 19th and tried in desperation to find her on their own, along with the police. Eventually a farmer was on a combine October 1st and was up high getting ready to attend to his crops when he discovered what appeared to be a body. He quickly called the sheriff’s office & the nightmare for Crystals family began. Janice told me they asked her to come down to the station, along with her husband Tim & their other daughter to give DNA swabs for comparison. She couldn’t even see her baby one more time, it just wasn’t possible. Can you imagine finding out your daughter is possibly dead and not being able to do so much as hold her hand one more time? Or see her face? It’s a feeling I find indescribable & pray that I never go thru. After all the testing was done they had to wait for positive ID which eventually came. No parent should ever have to go thru this. As a parent myself, I honestly don’t know how they made it thru but they did. Crystal was laid to rest, and a week later, her death was ruled a homicide.

Fast forward to Sept 15th 2011. I was riding along in my car and Crystal popped into my head out of nowhere. I had been thinking about Lauren Spirier also, wishing that we could have found her. As a parent living here, their both always on my mind. I want justice for both families, no matter what the outcome. I went home and wondered if their was ever any arrests made in Crystals case so I decided to hop on-line and look. Nothing. It was there at that moment that I decided to do something about it. It’s a choice I will never regret, although sometimes painful. I found the Crystal Grubb memorial page on facebook and asked her mom if she would be willing to speak to me. Janice was to be one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met. She agreed to meet with me so we could plan something for Crystals one yr anniversary. At first it was going to be for family only, but then my determination kicked in and it ended up everywhere. lol Within days, their were newspapers calling, people in the community and friends far and near. I eventually planned the event to be held 0ct 1st in the local park here in our town. We decided to include Lauren Spirier also, for we wanted them to have a better outcome than Crystals family had. I headed to the part and their were about 25 people there. Then 75…then 150. Then finally 197!! I was shocked to say the least! It was beautiful to see so many people embracing each other and there for a purpose. Janice spoke, along with her sister and Crystals aunt. We then began the march to the local jail then down to where Lauren lived to say a prayer for her. We continued to the bar where Lauren hung out that evening and concluded back at the park. The line of people expanded to a mile long! I had been running around so much that I hadn’t had time to sit for hours. When I finally sat down with Janice and some more family members I was finally able to get a good cry in. I wanted so much to know right then and there what happened to Crystal. ImageImage

Now were here. April 13th and still no answers. I don’t blame anyone. I have to keep faith and hope that when it is meant to come to an end it will. It’s hard to tell Janice that, and I’m sure it’s awful to hear but that’s all I have. In doing this blog my hope is to keep Crystals memory alive and generate some publicity for her. My fear is that she will be forgotten & no justice will come. My plan is to not let that happen. In order to do that, I need your help. Re post the blog, call radio stations anything to get her name out there will help. I am currently in the middle of setting up the Crystal Grubb Memorial Fund. This way the money will go straight into an account for things to do for Crystal. Our goal within the next month is to get a billboard in town. These are $1,105 a month! Also, their has been no reward in her case to my knowledge and I think that needs to change. Lastly, her family would like a vase on her grave but the piece of granite that has been approved by the grave yard is going to be $500. So that is my plan. I am going to try my hardest to get ahold of as many celebrities and organizations as possible in hopes of getting this resolved for the family. I know it wont bring Crystal back, and I know she made some bad decisions but that doesn’t matter to me. What matters to me is that her death being brought to justice so her daughters do not have to look back in fear as they grow older. They know their mother is in heaven, but do not know the circumstances. I’m hoping by the time they are old enough to understand, they can at least be told their mommy’s at peace. Crystal, were gonna get this done for you in one way or another. RIP.          -Melinda

Anyone with any information is urged

to call the Bloomington Police.

It will be confidential!!

(812) 349-2534

Check us out on facebook for the latest news on how to donate or developments. http://www.facebook.com/?ref=logo#!/pages/The-Crystal-Grubb-Memorial-Fund-page/168671076548572

Image

Posted in Uncategorized | 5 Comments

Celiac like me

Hello all! I am writing this blog in hopes of helping out a great gal by the name of Jennifer Esposito. She currently plays Jackie on the show Blue Bloods & I have been fortunate enough to be able to meet her. It all started about 3yrs ago, I decided I was gonna go on a diet. Nothing but fish, veggies and whole grain wheat bread. FATAL mistake! Within 3weeks I had lost 32 pounds and felt awful. I was so mad & confused, I remember thinking I’m dieting and this is how I feel? With the weight gain their was feverish sweats, severe diarrhea, extreme nausea & eventually vomiting. This along with the feeling that I was going nuts & stabbing pain in my upper right side were not what I expected. The final time I realized something was wrong was when I had to call 911. I kid you not when I say I literally crawled to the door with a trash can & begged them to take me. They did but said I just had the flu! I remember thinking, next they’re gonna send me to psyche, I just know it. Eventually my mom who works at the hospital suggested I go see a Dr here in town who specializes in stomach issues. I did and he scheduled me for a biopsy, which is where they go in and take small samples of your intestine. All this was done on the same day as my beloved paw paw went in and found out cancer was attacking his brain and lungs. My world was turned upside down, I felt so lost. The dr called a few days later and said Melinda you have celiac. My response? Whats that? I thought I had some kind of weird cancer, I had no idea! I began looking it up online and I was pissed. No cookies? Pizza, don’t take away my bread! I honestly didn’t pay attention much after that, 29days after my paw paw and I were both diagnosed, he lost his fight. Words cannot begin to express how his loss affected me. I just didn’t care anymore, I felt robotic & just couldn’t wait to crawl into bed at night. Life revolved around food as a comfort for me, so I just kept eating whatever I wanted. I punished my poor body for 2 years! Now that I look back I’m very mad at myself but all I can do now is try to live it as healthy as possible. I met someone who is an amazing friend & she helps by being gluten-free too. It helps me not feel so alone when I have to walk by yummy pastries! lol But if u know me you know I love food. I admit I was still cheating here and there. I thought what could it hurt?  A bite here or there isn’t gonna hurt me. WRONG! I am an avid blockhead, have been since I was 8 yrs old. I’ve followed the ever so wonderful Donnie Wahlberg since April of 2009 & I heard about his partner from the show and boom there it was! She was celiac too? I know Jennifer doesn’t consider it a blessing but I did! Shes like a gluten dictionary! lol She was telling things that I never knew about celiac and honestly it scared the hell outta me! If your diagnosed with celiac and you keep eating whatever you want you’re at high risk for developing all sorts of cancers of the stomach, intestine and many more. I was floored! Not to mention terrified, I was there and watched my paw paw slip away that night. FROM CANCER! I can honestly say it scared me straight. I started reading everything when I went grocery shopping. A once one hour shopping trip turned into a three-hour one! I wanted to be informed, I was so scared and was sooo tired of feeling sick. If I hadn’t read those blogs, I’d probably still be cheating and putting myself at risk every day. Anytime I have a question Jennifer is there and if she doesn’t know she will find out. It makes me feel great to know someone cares & is trying to help. Recently I had to go in and have my tonsils taken out and I was sick for months! From nov to about a month ago to be exact. I couldn’t eat, literally. If I drank water it came up as nasty foam. Long story short, they said the pain meds, along with my celiac was agitating my stomach. I had to start taking tons of enzymes to calm my stomach and have just recently felt my old self. But not before the dreaded depression kicked in. I started feeling weird, not regular depression but I want to not be here depression. All I wanted to do was sleep and cry. One day I was going to call my mom and tell her to come and get my kids so I could go to the psyche unit of the hospital and check myself in. I’d had it. I couldn’t stand feeling that way anymore. Don’t ask me what possessed me to mention it to Jennifer but I did. She recommended I get my vitamin D checked. I thought why but I’ve always taken her word for it and did. When ur celiac it’s hard for your body to absorb nutrients. Jennifer said it can make you depressed if it’s low. So I called the dr, had it checked and there it was! Mine was 16, normal is 20 and up. I started taking vit D capsules but not before Jennifer let me know that I needed to pop them open and put it under my tongue to absorb better. I can’t say for sure what would have happened if she had not told me to get that checked, but my guess is it would not have been good. That was the most depressed I’ve ever gotten. So when I say this girl knows her stuff, I mean it. I had been to the dr and he hadn’t even suggested I get it checked! It feels good to know that I’m not alone and that she’s been thru what I have. Don’t get me wrong I’d love it if we were both able to eat whatever we want but sometimes life throws you a curve ball. It’s how you handle it that counts. Recently I was able to go to NYC. It was amazing and had more meaning than the usual vacation. Sure I wanted to see the city, but I also felt the need to thank Jennifer. So I swallowed my huge fear of flying (only to be rocked by the worst turbulence ever on the way) and made the trip. It was all I thought & then some.                                                            On the day I went to set I was blessed to not only meet Jennifer but Donnie! (I still can’t decide who was sweeter) Donnie was silly and sang the greatest kitty song ever. Dont ask me, he just started singing and I went with it. lol It was a very emotional trip for two reasons. One is I’ve been waiting to meet him for 22yrs and because I couldn’t wait to thank Jennifer. When she came over I was thrilled. It was so sweet that she actually asked how I was feeling and spent some time asking how things were going with me. She is so down to earth and couldn’t have been sweeter. I was kinda honored that she showed me her beloved Boops tag she had just found in her pocket, even though I almost started crying again. It may sound silly but I know how important her pup was to her. All I was able to do was hug her again, she’s just that nice. I’ve also been blessed to have tried her chocolate chip cookies and let me tell you they are amazing! My mouth watered, I keep telling her I havent had a cookie like that in a long time! They really did taste like regular cookies, no falling apart, no gritty taste, just a regular cookie! I cannot wait until her products come out but I’m trying to be patient because I saw just how hard they work. I hope all the fans appreciate what they do because it’s very exhausting.                                                      Poor Donnie was actually packing around a bowl of food between takes & trying to eat in between. I will say they are both so lovable and silly, they seem to really try to have a good time at what they do. Now I’m back at home and spending more time with my kids than ever. I was actually lured onto the trampoline by my boys the other day! I havent been on one of those in years and it was so fun! As I fell in laughter with them piling on top of me the sun came out of the clouds and it occurred to me just how happy I was. At that moment I thought of my paw paw, Jennifer and Donnie & how I’ve come full circle. It has been a bumpy ride but I’ve made it so far, and I couldnt have done it without the information and guidance from these very important people in my life. I feel I’ve made a life long friend with Jennifer and I know the NKOTB gift will never go away. It’s such a blessing to have you all in my life, you’ve always been there to catch me when I fall. For that, I simply say. Thank you. I love you all very much and wish you nothing but the absolute very best in all you do. Love, Melinda(@Nautinkotbkitty) XOXO                                                               

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment